I am pissed. They have no idea.
As I was explaining to someone of interest yesterday, I have an issue. I do not like to fail. I will work very hard in order not to fail. Failure may be a part of life, but it is not a part of mine. At least not in my work. I know this is a problem.
Today I was sold. Betrayed even. And so now I WILL fail. My leaders have decided I must do something impossible to do in the time allotted. It is out of my control. Failure is certain and I am to be held accountable for it. I am now raised as a sacrificial lamb awaiting the slaughter when things do not turn out as expected.
And thus I am so angry. My faith in them is lost. I would tell them, but instead I will only quicken the pace of other ventures.
I had a moment of calmness today as my frustration peaked. I was literally hot headed and felt like I might suffer of heat exhaustion. I stepped outside, short sleeved in the frozen wind. I realized it is not worth it. These are no friends of mine. I have a choice, and it is easier than ever to make.
remove from me
this deception that i called love
that i called love
only through struggle have i found rest
with a piece of me taken away
i begin to understand
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Click here for more info on As I Lay Dying – Shadows Are Security – "Through Struggle".
The MP3 may be purchased here… As I Lay Dying - Shadows Are Security
